Men are not always the best at verbalizing their feelings. For example, they may say one thing, but their bodies tell a different, more honest story. Body language is, in effect, the subconscious mind on public display. Consequently, it often reveals secret intentions long before the person is ready to voice them. This is especially true when it comes to attraction, discomfort, or deception.
Are you trying to figure out if he is interested? Or perhaps you have a gut feeling that something is wrong. In either case, paying close attention to his non-verbal cues can give you the truth. His gestures, for instance, can reveal attraction he is trying to hide. However, they can also reveal anxiety or a desire to leave. Here are nine common men’s gestures and what they might really mean.
1. His Feet Point Toward the Exit
This is one of the most honest body language cues. People can control their facial expressions. They can, for instance, fake a smile. But they almost always forget their feet. The feet, as it turns out, point where the mind wants to go. Therefore, if you are in a conversation and his feet are angled toward the door, he wants to leave. This is true even if he is smiling and nodding.
His torso might be polite. His feet, however, are revealing his secret intentions. He may be feeling bored, anxious, or late for something else. Whatever the reason, his body is already halfway out the door. So, do not mistake his polite smile for genuine engagement. His feet are telling you the truth.
2. He Constantly Touches His Face or Neck
You are talking to him. Suddenly, you notice he keeps rubbing the back of his neck. He might touch his earlobe. Or he may rub his nose or his chin. This is a cluster of displacement behaviors. In other words, these are self-soothing gestures. They indicate nervous energy. His brain is firing off signals of anxiety or excitement, and he is displacing that energy with physical touch.
These gestures can reveal two very different intentions. On one hand, he might be incredibly attracted to you. This makes him nervous about impressing you. Conversely, he might be uncomfortable with the topic. In fact, he could even be lying. The touch is a way to “pacify” himself during a stressful interaction.
3. He Mirrors Your Body Language
You lean forward on your elbows. A moment later, he does the same. You pick up your drink with your left hand. Subsequently, he picks up his. You tilt your head while listening. He tilts his. This is called mirroring. Ultimately, it is a powerful, subconscious sign of connection.
When a man mirrors you, he is building rapport. Essentially, he is non-verbally saying, “I am like you. I am on your side.” This is a classic gesture of attraction and engagement. Indeed, he is so focused on you that his body is naturally syncing up with yours. This is a very positive sign.
4. He “Blocks” His Torso
The torso contains our vital organs. Because of this, we have a deep, primitive instinct to protect it. When a man feels defensive or closed-off, he will create a barrier. For example, he might sit with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Alternatively, he may hold his drink or his phone in front of his chest with two hands.
This is a defensive posture. It reveals he is not open to you or your ideas. He may feel criticized or threatened. In short, he is physically and emotionally “closed for business.” It is very difficult, therefore, to have a productive, open conversation with someone who is in this posture.
5. The “Proprietary” Touch in Public
This is a gesture of ownership. For instance, he places his hand on the small of your back to guide you through a crowd. He might rest his hand on your knee while you are sitting at a table. Or he may casually drape his arm over your shoulders.
This touch has a dual meaning. On one hand, it can be a sweet, protective gesture. He is physically connecting with you. However, it can also be a signal to other men. He is non-verbally communicating, “She is with me.” The context is key. Is he guiding you gently, or is he “marking his territory” when another man looks your way?
6. His Eye Contact Is Too Intense (or Absent)
Eye contact is a delicate balance. If a man cannot meet your gaze at all, it signals a problem. True, he might be extremely shy. However, it can also reveal secret intentions of deception. Liars, for example, often find it difficult to maintain normal eye contact. Additionally, it can also signal deep disinterest.
On the other hand, eye contact that is too intense is also a red flag. An unblinking, hard stare is not romantic. Instead, it is an aggressive gesture. In many cases, it is a conscious attempt at intimidation or control. Healthy, interested eye contact is warm. It holds for a few seconds, breaks away, and then returns.
7. He Puffs Out His Chest
This is a primal, “alpha male” display. When a man is trying to assert dominance or appear more attractive, he will literally puff himself up. Specifically, he will pull his shoulders back. He will also stick his chest out. This makes him appear larger and more powerful.
You will often see this happen when he first sees you. It may also happen when another man enters the conversation. He is subconsciously competing. In essence, he is trying to signal his status and strength. This gesture almost always reveals a secret intention of attraction. He is trying to look his best for you.
8. He Flinches (Slightly) at Your Touch
This is a micro-expression. It happens in a fraction of a second. Imagine you reach out and casually touch his arm. He pulls back or flinches, just for an instant. He may quickly cover it with a smile. You might even doubt that you saw it. But you did.
A micro-flinch is an honest, physical reaction. Fundamentally, it reveals discomfort. He may not be as comfortable with you as he pretends to be. He might be hiding something. Or he may simply not be ready for physical contact. In any case, it is a clear sign to pull back and give him space.
9. He Shows a “Duchenne” (or Genuine) Smile
Not all smiles are real. A “social” smile, or a fake smile, only involves the mouth. It is the smile he gives his boss or a stranger. A “Duchenne” smile, in contrast, is a genuine, happy smile. It is unmistakable. Moreover, it involves the entire face. The mouth turns up, and the eyes crinkle at the corners. You will see “crow’s feet.”
You cannot fake a Duchenne smile. Therefore, when you see it, you know it is real. This gesture reveals his true, happy intentions. He is genuinely delighted to be with you. His face is lit up. Indeed, this is one of the most reliable signs of true connection.
Trust the Pattern, Not the Single Gesture
Body language provides clues, not definite conclusions. A single crossed arm, for example, might just mean he is cold. But a cluster of gestures tells a much clearer story. Thus, if his arms are crossed, his feet are pointing to the door, and he will not make eye contact, you have your answer.
Always look for patterns. More importantly, look for a mismatch. If his words say “I’m so happy to be here,” but his body is closed off, trust his body. Actions and gestures will almost always reveal his true, secret intentions.
What other men’s gestures have you learned to read? Share your own insights in the comments.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.
