He says all the right things, tells you he’s crazy about you, texts you good morning every day. But something feels off. His actions don’t quite match his words. This gap between what he says and what he does can be confusing. It leaves you questioning your own intuition. Trust that feeling in your gut. It’s usually telling you the truth. If you’re wondering where you really stand, look for the proof in his behavior. Here are the warning signs he’s not feeling you as much as he claims.
1. His Future Plans Are Always Vague
You talk about the future, but it’s always fuzzy. He might say “we should go there sometime” but never sets a date. He avoids any real conversation about long-term commitment. A man who is truly invested in you will make concrete plans. He’ll be excited to integrate you into his future. Vagueness is a way to enjoy the present without promising a future.
2. He Only Sees You on His Terms
Does he only text you late at night? Are your hangouts always last-minute? If he only makes time for you when it’s convenient for him, that’s a major red flag. A man who values you will make you a priority. He will move things around in his schedule to see you. You won’t feel like an afterthought or a backup plan. You’ll feel like a main event.
3. He Hasn’t Introduced You to His People
You’ve been seeing each other for a while, but you haven’t met his friends. His family doesn’t know you exist. When a man is serious about a woman, he wants to show her off. He’s proud to have her in his life. Keeping you separate from his inner circle is a form of compartmentalization. It’s one of the clearest signs he’s not feeling you for the long haul.
4. His Communication Is Inconsistent
One week, he’s blowing up your phone with texts and calls. The next, you barely hear from him. This hot-and-cold behavior is designed to keep you on your toes. It’s also a sign of low interest. When a guy is truly into you, he craves connection. He won’t want to go days without talking to you. Consistency is the language of genuine interest.
5. He Shuts Down During Difficult Conversations
You try to talk about your feelings or define the relationship. He immediately gets defensive or changes the subject. He might even accuse you of being “too emotional.” A man who is invested will welcome these conversations. He’ll want to know where he stands. Avoiding emotional depth shows he’s only interested in keeping things superficial.
6. He Keeps His Phone Guarded
His phone is always face down on the table. He angles the screen away from you when he’s texting. You don’t need to see his private messages. But this level of secrecy is suspicious. It suggests he has something to hide. A man with nothing to hide is typically more relaxed about his phone. This is a classic sign of dishonesty.
7. He Doesn’t Celebrate Your Wins
You get a promotion at work or achieve a personal goal. You tell him, and his reaction is lukewarm. He offers a quick “that’s great” before changing the topic. A supportive partner acts like a cheerleader. Your successes should feel like his successes. A lack of enthusiasm for your achievements shows a lack of investment in your life.
8. Your Gut Is Screaming at You
This is the most important sign of all. Deep down, you know something is wrong. You feel insecure and anxious about the relationship. You’re constantly trying to decode his behavior. Your intuition is your most powerful tool. Don’t ignore it just because he’s saying what you want to hear. Actions always speak louder than words.
Stop Listening to His Words and Start Watching His Feet
Words are easy. Effort is not. A man’s true feelings are revealed by where he puts his time, energy, and resources. If his actions are consistently showing you that you are not a priority, believe them. Don’t waste your time on someone who is only half-in. You deserve someone who is excited and proud to be with you. Recognizing these signs he’s not feeling you is the first step toward finding someone who does.
Have you ever dated someone whose actions didn’t match their words? Share the red flag you ignored in the comments.
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Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.
As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.
