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The Things We Teach Girls About Safety—And What We’re Still Getting Wrong

May 2, 2025 by Latrice Perez
Children go to school, happy students with school backpacks and holding hands together, cross the road, the concept of education with girls, space for text
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From a young age, girls often receive a steady stream of warnings. “Don’t talk to strangers,” “Stick with your friends,” “Watch your drink,” “Text me when you get home.” While well-intentioned, this advice often focuses on preventing attacks by unknown assailants in public spaces. However, the reality of threats girls and women face is far more complex. Are we truly equipping them with the tools they need for genuine girls’ safety, or are we missing crucial parts of the picture? It’s time to reassess our approach.

Focusing Only on Strangers

Much traditional safety advice centers on “stranger danger.” Girls are taught to be wary of unfamiliar men in parks or dark alleys. While caution is wise, statistics show most harm comes from people they know. This includes family members, friends, acquaintances, or intimate partners. Overemphasizing stranger danger can create a false sense of security in familiar settings. True girls’ safety requires awareness across all relationships and environments.

Policing Behavior, Not Violence

Often, safety tips implicitly place responsibility on the girl. Advice like “Don’t walk alone at night” or “Dress modestly” suggests *her* behavior invites danger. This focus subtly blames victims rather than addressing the actions of perpetrators. It implies that if a girl follows the rules, she’ll be safe, which isn’t guaranteed. Shifting focus towards consent, respect, and accountability is essential. We must teach everyone not to violate others, regardless of circumstance.

Ignoring Online Dangers

Today’s world extends far beyond physical spaces. Girls face significant risks online, including cyberbullying, grooming, and sextortion. Yet, safety talks often lag, concentrating primarily on physical threats. We need comprehensive education about digital citizenship and online predators. Understanding privacy settings, recognizing red flags, and knowing how to report issues are vital skills. Neglecting the digital realm leaves a huge gap in girls’ safety education.

Skimming Over Consent

Meaningful discussions about consent are frequently inadequate or absent. Consent needs to be taught early, clearly, and repeatedly. It should cover enthusiastic agreement, the right to change one’s mind, and coercion. Many safety lessons skip the nuances, leaving girls unsure how to navigate complex social or romantic situations. Truly understanding and respecting consent is fundamental for everyone’s safety and well-being. This education must be explicit and ongoing.

Not Trusting Their Instincts

Two happy teen girls reunited in car parking hugging and walking home hand in hand. Urban city lifestyle. 4K video shooting by handheld gimbal
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Girls are often socialized to be polite and accommodating. This conditioning can make them hesitant to trust their gut feelings about uncomfortable situations. They might worry about seeming rude or overreacting if they assert boundaries. We need to actively encourage girls to listen to their intuition. Teaching them it’s okay to say “no,” leave a situation, or prioritize their feelings over politeness is crucial for self-preservation.

Lacking Self-Defense Skills

While avoiding confrontation is ideal, practical self-defense skills can be empowering. Basic techniques can build confidence and offer options in a dangerous situation. However, self-defense classes aren’t always accessible or prioritized. Providing opportunities to learn physical boundary-setting and escape techniques adds a tangible layer of protection. It shifts the focus from passive avoidance to active self-protection when necessary.

Underestimating Emotional Safety

Safety isn’t just about physical protection; emotional well-being is equally important. Girls need tools to navigate unhealthy relationships, manipulation, and emotional abuse. Recognizing red flags like controlling behavior, gaslighting, or excessive jealousy is critical. Discussions about girls’ safety must include the importance of mental health and healthy relationship dynamics. This holistic view fosters resilience against various forms of harm.

Putting the Onus Solely on Girls

Ultimately, ensuring girls’ safety shouldn’t be solely their responsibility. It’s a societal issue requiring community effort. Boys and men need education about respect, consent, and healthy masculinity. Schools, families, and communities must create environments where harmful behaviors are not tolerated. Holding perpetrators accountable is paramount. Sharing the responsibility lightens the burden on girls and tackles the root causes of violence.

Rethinking Our Safety Scripts

Our traditional safety advice for girls needs a significant update. We must move beyond simplistic rules and address the complexities of modern threats, consent, and emotional well-being. Empowering girls means teaching them to trust their instincts, set boundaries, and understand risks in all environments, including online. It also requires a societal shift towards accountability and respect. Focusing solely on avoidance tactics is insufficient for genuine girls’ safety.

What crucial safety lessons do you think are often overlooked when talking to girls? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Read More:

6 Safety Tips You’ll Regret Not Teaching Your Kids

8 Safety Tips for Women That Could Save Your Life One Day

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